Sami Wunder is a successful relationship coach who built her business while raising a family. Today, Sami brings in a multi-seven-figure annual income while bringing up two children under eight. This article will look at emotional unavailability, providing pointers for women who find themselves dating a man who struggles to build and maintain emotional intimacy and connection.
Whether you have just started dating or it has suddenly dawned on you that your long-term partner falls short in terms of intimacy, a lack of emotional connection can be a significant stumbling block in any relationship. Men flinching at the idea of commitment and steering away from serious conversations is a surprisingly common relationship issue.
Instead of consistent communication, you receive sporadic check-ins. Rather than forward momentum in the relationship, you are left with doubt and confusion. While you should be feeling seen and safe, you find yourself begging for scraps of attention.
All kinds of women are presented with this problem. Strong, smart, sensitive ladies can find themselves dating men who fit this profile over and over again. Dating an emotionally unavailable man can be bewildering, hurtful, and incredibly challenging to deal with. Rather than settling or chasing, the answer lies in shifting the power dynamic.
When dating an emotionally distant man, it is tempting to over-compensate, filling gaps in communication, always being the one to text first. In lieu of him making plans, you may be inclined to invite him out. Women dating emotionally unavailable men typically find themselves leaning in harder, trying to bridge the distance. Nevertheless, this merely deepens the dysfunction. After all, the more you do, the less he has to. The more masculine energy a woman embodies, the more her partner will pull back. This can turn into a vicious cycle. To fix this, you simply stop. Step back and give him space. Leaving it for him to bridge the gap may go against all of your inclinations, but taking a step back in this situation is actually incredibly empowering.
A trap women often fall into is believing that if they explain their needs enough, this will prompt a change in behavior from him. You ask him to show up on time, be more emotionally present, or call more often, yet nothing changes. That’s because you need to take a different approach. Rather than repeating the same request, you need to consider the reality: if he wanted to change, he would. Meaningful change does not occur as the result of pressure but from his desire to rise to the occasion. Nagging simply puts men in defensive mode.
When dating an emotionally unavailable man, the idea of setting boundaries can seem terrifying. Nevertheless, your boldness in speaking your truth can have a transformative impact on the relationship. The critical component in this is your willingness to walk away if he fails to adhere to those boundaries. You may fear losing him, but consider this: Why would you want to hold onto a man who is never prepared to meet you halfway? Setting boundaries, and being willing to uphold them, is the mark of a woman who knows her value.
While an emotionally unavailable man can fall in love, this will only happen when he decides to do the work, facing his fears, risking vulnerability, and opening his heart. It does not occur because his partner “fixed” him but because she showed him her worth and that she was prepared to step away if he was unwilling to meet her standards. Some men will rise to the challenge. Some will not. Either way you win, as your energy is protected, your heart is honored, and life continues moving forward.
You can discover more about the positive impact Sami Wunder has had on her clients’ love lives by reading some of their reviews.
